Published inP.S. I Love You·PinnedI Went Out with a Guy and He Sent Me an InvoiceThere are times in a woman’s life where she begins to wonder if she just ought to give up on life and join a nunnery. One such time was during a date with Gavin*. I have met men who smell like garbage, have shitty tattoos, thought he was in love…Short Story8 min readShort Story8 min read
Published inBig Boobs and Big Dreams·Jan 15The Time the Universe Tricked Me Into Getting What I Wanted“I’m sorry, who are you?” my new boss asked me as I stepped into the office, an uncharacteristic 10 minutes early. OMG, I thought to myself. He totally forgot that he hired me two weeks ago. I literally packed up my entire life from L.A. to move to NYC for…True Story4 min readTrue Story4 min read
Dec 20, 2022I Tried TikTok’s Favorite Pheromone Oil & Was Surprised By The ResultsEver since I tried a sample of Thierry Angel’s Mugler, I’ve been hooked on the intoxicating old-school fragrance. And it’s not because I love the thickly sweet, vanilla-bergamot-jasmine concoction. I love Angel because men are drawn to me like cats to a laser when I wear it. I’ve been stopped…True Story5 min readTrue Story5 min read
Oct 18, 2022TOO AMERICAN: A TRIP TO INDIAFor all good Indian-American families, it’s necessary to go back to India every few years to make sure your children don’t lose sight of where they came from. Indian-American parents everywhere load up their suitcases with American goodies for their relatives, which once emptied out, can be filled with enough…True Story9 min readTrue Story9 min read
Jan 3, 2022What Your Favorite Food Says About Your Sex LifeFood is a window into the soul. Or is it eyes? Well, the eyes are alright, but food is way more indicative of what’s brewing underneath. Someone wild and passionate in bed isn’t going to call Cinnamon Toast Crunch their favorite food. No shade of course. I love CTC as…Funny Story5 min readFunny Story5 min read
Published inBig Boobs and Big Dreams·Dec 12, 2021The Time my Unemployed Brother-in-Law Called Me a Prostitute“He said you’re a prostitute,” my mom complained irritably. “He’s up to this again? Why?” “Because he doesn’t think you could possibly earn a living as a business owner.” “But he said that when I had a 9–5 job too,” I reminded. My brother-in-law, or as I affectionately called him…True Story2 min readTrue Story2 min read
Oct 20, 2021I Let A Psychic Take Over My Dating AppsWhat if you could speed past the endless “How r u”s, bathroom mirror selfies, and interminable texting to get right to the good stuff: A relationship with a decent person who can form complete sentences and seems genuinely interested in more than your tatas. I know what you’re thinking, Is…Dating8 min readDating8 min read
Published inBig Boobs and Big Dreams·Aug 3, 2021Dear Jesse PinkmanWhen you told me on our first date that you used to be homeless, I was surprised. My first question was, “where did you masturbate?” You told me you couldn’t remember because you were high on meth most of the time. And you told me that you used to be…True Story1 min readTrue Story1 min read
Published inBig Boobs and Big Dreams·Jul 14, 2021That Time Our Cruise Ship Stopped to Save RefugeesThere I was minding my business sipping on a virgin piña colada, when suddenly the ship tipped to the left. The tip was so sharp and sudden almost everyone around me had fallen down. Drinks were spilled, people had stubbed their toes, and I think some pool water even splashed…True Story3 min readTrue Story3 min read
Published inBig Boobs and Big Dreams·Jun 28, 2021That Time I Manifested VIP Passes“Are you a big Boo Boo fan?” I had rented my apartment on Airbnb a bazillion times, but this was the first time I had received an email after the fact. “Yes, I am!” I typed back to Pete. Boo Boo was one of my favorite bands. Pete must have seen the Boo Boo ticket I won…True Story2 min readTrue Story2 min read
