Dear Jesse Pinkman

Photo by Daisy Anderson from Pexels

When you told me on our first date that you used to be
homeless, I was surprised.

My first question was, “where did you masturbate?” You told me you couldn’t remember because you were high on meth most of the time. And you told me that you used to be a dealer.

Meth! I thought to myself. Here you were looking incredibly put-together, intelligent, and functional and yet you had been sans abode for three years and high for most of it.

As it turns out, you realized the life of a homeless drug dealer was no bueno and you really liked your teeth. So you pulled yourself together and taught yourself how to code and became a software engineer. Our date turned out to be one of the best dates I had ever been on. Not only were you hilarious, smart, and witty, you were also thoughtful. You were the first guy to
actually, take me to a vegetarian restaurant and bake incredibly delicious cookies.

Just goes to show for once my mother was right. You should never judge a book by its cover.

xoxo,
Cookie Monster

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Sex Humor Wellness Writer @ Playboy, Allure, Marie Claire, The New York Times, Cosmo, WashPo. Follow IG: @rachelkhona

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Rachel Khona

Rachel Khona

Sex Humor Wellness Writer @ Playboy, Allure, Marie Claire, The New York Times, Cosmo, WashPo. Follow IG: @rachelkhona

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